Monday, April 10, 2017

The monster who never missed (Children's book)

page1; This is Huey, the monster who never missed.
page2; Huey never missed a day of school.
page3; Huey never missed a day of church
page4; And Huey never missed his favorite show that came on every night.
page5; When Huey got older, he got into sports, music, and all types of things.
page6; When Huey played basketball, he never missed a shot.
page7; when he played the violin, he never missed a note
page8; and when his friends needed him, he never missed a call.
page9; Everybody loved Huey.
page10; as Huey went through his life, he got use to never missing!
page11; Until the day came, that he finally missed...
page12; That day was very tragic for Huey.
page13; Huey started missing school, missing his jump shot, and missing his notes on his violin.
page13; This was very unusual for Huey. he started to notice people weren't treating him the same anymore.
page14; Huey never misses.
page15; Huey never knew why until...
page16; he noticed the missing piece, and Huey never misses.
page17.  Huey noticed when he got older he started to mislead people causing everybody to have the wrong idea of who he really was.
page18; And Huey was very sad
page20; Huey tried and tried  and tried to never miss like how he used too but it just wouldn't work out
page21; Then one day after huey learned that nobody is perfect and that you'll always going to miss at some point but dont let that stop you from being you

1 comment:

  1. page1; This is Huey, the monster who never missed.
    page2; Huey never missed a day of school.
    page3; Huey never missed a day of church
    page4; And Huey never missed his favorite show that came on every night.
    page5; When Huey got older, he got into sports, music, and all types of things.
    page6; When Huey played basketball, he never missed a shot.
    page7; when he played the violin, he never missed a note
    page8; and when his friends needed him, he never missed a call.
    page9; Everybody loved Huey.
    page10; as Huey went through his life, he got use to never missing!
    page11; Until the day came, that he finally missed...
    page12; That day was very tragic for Huey.
    page13; Huey started missing school, missing his jump shot, and missing his notes on his violin.
    page13; This was very unusual for Huey. He started to notice people weren't treating him the same anymore.
    page14; Huey never misses.
    page15; Huey never knew why until...
    page16; he noticed the missing piece, and Huey never misses.
    page17. Huey noticed when he got older he started to mislead people causing everybody to have the wrong idea of who he really was.(This is a good setence, but it might be hard for little kids to understand. You could try rewording it to "Huey noticed that he started to act different as he got older. He wasn't himself anymore!")
    page18; And Huey was very sad
    page20; Huey tried and tried and tried to never miss like he used too but it just wouldn't work out
    page21; Then one day after Huey learned that nobody is perfect and that you'll always going to miss at some point but don't let that stop you from being you
    (I would separate this section into two different pages. Maybe say "Then one day Huey learned that nobody is perfect." and then use the last page to say "Huey learned that you're always going to miss at some point but don't let that stop you from being you.")

    This was a really cute story! I love the message you're writing about. Good job using repetition.

    ReplyDelete